Well, today I had a Halloween party. It wasnt anything special, but it was a lot of fun. There was Tiffany, Garett, Alyssa, Tawny, Casey, Devin and I all hanging out watching movies and chilling. We ate junk food and had lots of fun! Devin came over as soon as he got off work, and I directed him to my house, and when he got here, he just hugged me kissed me on the cheek. Looked at me and said "I love you" and then he kissed. Our first kiss. He was being so cute tonight. he was always touching me in some way. Had his arm around me and I just absolutely loved it! We watched Click since he was on his mission when it came out. He was watchin it then he would just look at me. He'd kiss my cheek or my forhead or anything really it was cute. I gave him a massage, and all that jazz. I just loved it! I missed him so bad!!! He told me he loved me a million and a half times today. I just couldnt control how amazing I felt while with him. Then after everyone left, we cleaned up and went into my room. Just laying on my bed talking. We started to talk about yesterday, and I read him my previous blog. In the middle of it he just looked at me.. straight in the eyes and said I love you. The he layed on my leg while I finsished. I asked him what he was thinking and what was wrong because he seemed bothered. He said.. nothing.. just what you wrote, I felt and still feel the same way. He said.. I dont know.. It just touched me.
As I sit here writing this. I can smell his smell, and my heart is racing. When we stood up, I didnt want to let him go.. but He had to. I miss him. I get to see him tomorrow though. As I sit here.. writing my feelings, I am shaking with joy. I am weak in the knees No joke. I have never felt this way... It is scary and comforting all at the same time.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Love is in the Air
On Sunday night, I was extremely nervous. I knew that my Missionary was coming home the next day. Devin is his name, and I knew I cared from him from the first moment I met him. I had strong feelings from the first moment we talked, two years previously. While on his mission, he gave me strength when I had none, and was litearlly MY missionary. He helped me in times I didn't even know I could be helped. We wrote one another about once or twice a month, and emailed each other EVERY week, for the most part. I loved hearing from him, it was something I looked forward to each day. I was nervous for the coming day because I knew that this was literally the beginning of the rest of my life in a sense. I had a hard time falling asleep. My mind was racing wondering about the next day, wondering what could happen. I was scared because I thought I am not worth this. I am not worth the time. The devil was seriously telling me all these things to get me down on myself. I was sick to my stomache with worry, so I went to my friend Tiffany's house and spent the night. when I layed down on her bed at around 3:30 I just completely was out.
I woke up the next morning at 8:15... More excited than ever! I was just jubilant. Emersed in complete surenity. I ran off to my house and got dressed as quickly as possible and got ready for my big day, while texting Devins soon to be sister in law Monique. Her, and Devins twin brother Derrick were on their way to pick me up. When they got here, I was more nervous. I jumped in the car and we were off.
After our hellos and how are you doing's, Moniques daughter, who is 9 years old turned to me, first thing she said to me was "You're pretty!" blushing I just thanked her and talked along with everyone. We went to Provo and went shopping for a few minutes, and then left on our way. I was so nervous I couldnt even eat. knowing I was getting closer, I was gradually getting more nervous! I was just going insane.
When we got to the airport, we walked in and I met his family, mom, dad, sister, two other brothers, the brothers wifes, the nieces and nephews, grandma, and sisters friend. I was previously told that his sister did not like me because I had dear johned Devin while on his mission because I was previously engaged.. well that just ended sour to say the least. So i was nervous of her. But just laughed and talked with everyone. we stood by the escaltors with a huge banner. I was talking with his father about where I was from and who I knew from there. While in the middle of the conversation (me nervous as could be shaking with anticipation) I looked up, and there he was, Sitting on the escaltor, cute as could be! I got butterflies! Well he came down and hugged his mom, then dad and proceeded through the line of family. I was standing by Amy, one of his sister in laws, we were the only one who hadnt been hugged and people were the only ones not hugged. Amy spoke up and said, "What do we not get a hug?" and came over and hugged Amy. Then me being the smart alc I am, I held my hand out to shake his and he just grabbed me, and hugged me the sweetest hug I have ever had! I just hugged him a melted. I was full of smiles and couldnt help it. He asked how I was, and I replied good and he held my hand for a second and I didnt want to let go. Then he proceeded to talk to his familiy and I walked over by Monique where she hugged me.
Then we all went off to eat at the Chinese buffet. all 21 of us! We got in there and sat down and I was in the middle of the first table, Devin sitting right behind me. Right before he sat down he just slightly touched my side, but I couldnt react for I was in a conversation with another family member. After eating him and I were talking. It was amazing.. I felt like nothing I have ever felt. He showed me pictures and all that, telling me stories and what not. It was the first time we really talked in two years! I missed him dearly. After we were all done we were getting ready to head out. He didnt get a chance to hug me goodbye, but that was okay. I got in the car, and smiling bigger than I ever thought possible. And we drove over by their car, he came over and talked to us. He reached in the window and just grabbed my hand. I didnt want to let go. While no one was looking he looked at me and mouthed to me "I love you!" and I was just melting. Then he walked away and was like Love ya! and Monique made this big deal. It was funny.
They then proceeded to take me home. On the way I was so happy. Still in shock. Derrick and Monique kept telling me "When you and Devin get married.." it was funny. I just laughed and joked around. It was fun. I thoroughly enjoyed myself. When I got home I went to Tiffanys house and spilled out everything I could think of. I couldnt stop talking. After calming down I was okay. I was waiting for his call like he told me he was going to call. I went to my house and cleaned to keep me busy, then showered. When I got out of the shower, I heard a male voice in my living room. I thought it was Devin surprising me. I walked out after showering, and it was Tiffany talking ther Boyfriend! I was so disappointed but laughing at myself. When he finally called me at around 11:45. I was so happy. He kept telling me he loved me and all that good stuff. I missed him already. I stood out in the cold in pajamas with wet hair cold as could be for about an hour and a half. Then he had to go to bed. I was okay with that... but I missed him and I didnt want to let him go. For he had to work tomorrow so I let him go. I walked in giddy as could be. THen crashed! I was so tired! I was awake for 18 hours.
I knew that night, that everything that happened to me that day was to tell me I was okay. That everything was working out and life was great. That love had found me and I knew that everything was being put into place. I hate saying this so quickly.. But I think I am going to marry Devin. I think that that full day, just was confiramtion. I can almost for sure say I will marry him....
I woke up the next morning at 8:15... More excited than ever! I was just jubilant. Emersed in complete surenity. I ran off to my house and got dressed as quickly as possible and got ready for my big day, while texting Devins soon to be sister in law Monique. Her, and Devins twin brother Derrick were on their way to pick me up. When they got here, I was more nervous. I jumped in the car and we were off.
After our hellos and how are you doing's, Moniques daughter, who is 9 years old turned to me, first thing she said to me was "You're pretty!" blushing I just thanked her and talked along with everyone. We went to Provo and went shopping for a few minutes, and then left on our way. I was so nervous I couldnt even eat. knowing I was getting closer, I was gradually getting more nervous! I was just going insane.
When we got to the airport, we walked in and I met his family, mom, dad, sister, two other brothers, the brothers wifes, the nieces and nephews, grandma, and sisters friend. I was previously told that his sister did not like me because I had dear johned Devin while on his mission because I was previously engaged.. well that just ended sour to say the least. So i was nervous of her. But just laughed and talked with everyone. we stood by the escaltors with a huge banner. I was talking with his father about where I was from and who I knew from there. While in the middle of the conversation (me nervous as could be shaking with anticipation) I looked up, and there he was, Sitting on the escaltor, cute as could be! I got butterflies! Well he came down and hugged his mom, then dad and proceeded through the line of family. I was standing by Amy, one of his sister in laws, we were the only one who hadnt been hugged and people were the only ones not hugged. Amy spoke up and said, "What do we not get a hug?" and came over and hugged Amy. Then me being the smart alc I am, I held my hand out to shake his and he just grabbed me, and hugged me the sweetest hug I have ever had! I just hugged him a melted. I was full of smiles and couldnt help it. He asked how I was, and I replied good and he held my hand for a second and I didnt want to let go. Then he proceeded to talk to his familiy and I walked over by Monique where she hugged me.
Then we all went off to eat at the Chinese buffet. all 21 of us! We got in there and sat down and I was in the middle of the first table, Devin sitting right behind me. Right before he sat down he just slightly touched my side, but I couldnt react for I was in a conversation with another family member. After eating him and I were talking. It was amazing.. I felt like nothing I have ever felt. He showed me pictures and all that, telling me stories and what not. It was the first time we really talked in two years! I missed him dearly. After we were all done we were getting ready to head out. He didnt get a chance to hug me goodbye, but that was okay. I got in the car, and smiling bigger than I ever thought possible. And we drove over by their car, he came over and talked to us. He reached in the window and just grabbed my hand. I didnt want to let go. While no one was looking he looked at me and mouthed to me "I love you!" and I was just melting. Then he walked away and was like Love ya! and Monique made this big deal. It was funny.
They then proceeded to take me home. On the way I was so happy. Still in shock. Derrick and Monique kept telling me "When you and Devin get married.." it was funny. I just laughed and joked around. It was fun. I thoroughly enjoyed myself. When I got home I went to Tiffanys house and spilled out everything I could think of. I couldnt stop talking. After calming down I was okay. I was waiting for his call like he told me he was going to call. I went to my house and cleaned to keep me busy, then showered. When I got out of the shower, I heard a male voice in my living room. I thought it was Devin surprising me. I walked out after showering, and it was Tiffany talking ther Boyfriend! I was so disappointed but laughing at myself. When he finally called me at around 11:45. I was so happy. He kept telling me he loved me and all that good stuff. I missed him already. I stood out in the cold in pajamas with wet hair cold as could be for about an hour and a half. Then he had to go to bed. I was okay with that... but I missed him and I didnt want to let him go. For he had to work tomorrow so I let him go. I walked in giddy as could be. THen crashed! I was so tired! I was awake for 18 hours.
I knew that night, that everything that happened to me that day was to tell me I was okay. That everything was working out and life was great. That love had found me and I knew that everything was being put into place. I hate saying this so quickly.. But I think I am going to marry Devin. I think that that full day, just was confiramtion. I can almost for sure say I will marry him....
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